Tuesday, 7 February 2017

Dear Diary: Follow Your Heart, Not Society

Things have been kinda difficult the last month, I won't lie. Lots of crying, lots of sleeping and lots of impulse buys to cheer myself up. So naturally, when I did a poll on Twitter asking what post you'd like to read, all you nosy peeps wanted this one.

Like honestly, this post is gonna be one huge brain dump/ramble so as a little forewarning, I apologise if it makes little to no sense.


Back in January, I went through what was probably the most stressful week of my life, mentally and physically. You may be aware that I started uni. I lasted a week.

This isn't a post where I'm going to slate anything because quite frankly, I'm over it. My heart wasn't/isn't in the course I had chosen, I felt like I had no support university wise so I came to the decision that it wasn't for me. And y'know what? I'm so proud of myself.

Running up to my start date, I had heaps of people asking me how I was feeling about it, if I was excited and asking me all about my course and honestly, I couldn't have replied with less enthusiasm. Is that really how I should've been feeling if I wanted to go? It wasn't just nerves, it was the looming fear of letting everyone down because I had an inkling I wouldn't last.

I could've stuck it out for 6 months, doing what I thought I wanted to do to make everyone else happy but lemme tell you this. If you're ever in this position, do not do things to please others - do it for you. The people who make you feel down or guilty about a personal decision are not ones you want in your life, and that is a fact.

All this crap about how going to university is better for your future and you won't get anywhere if you don't go, don't listen to it. Basically what I'm saying is, uni isn't the be all and end all of your career aspirations. Sure, I'll most likely want to pursue my dreams of being a nurse and eventually go back to education, but I want to do it when I'm more financially stable and am able to drive. Is that so bad?

Is it so bad to just "go with the flow" for the time being because I'm pretty content with my life? I have amazing people around me who have shown me endless support whilst I thought my brain, emotions and life were falling apart (seriously thank you). I have a job which I actually enjoy and friends that I love working with. I have this, my blog, my escape which I am so grateful to be able to earn money from and of course, I have my own personal goals. As long as you're happy, what more could you ask for?

Screw the back up plans, and the idea of pleasing others, and the fact you feel that you have to have your life planned to a T. You don't, and if you're in a similar position to me right now, give yourself a hi-5. 

Let's go with the flow together sis (or bro).

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  1. I admire you so much Kat! You are one tough cookie. Keep doing what makes you happy! <3

  2. Do whatever makes you happy, that's the most important thing. I didn't go to uni but still studied Business studies at college, then on the job training courses. I don't regret not going. Good luck with everything.

    Sharon x

  3. Aw Kat, I loved this post! University isn't for everyone. I've always wished that schools pushed options other than going to university, sure having a degree is good and all but they seem to act like it's the be all and end all and no other options exist. When I didn't get into uni the first time I applied I felt like my school just totally stopped caring about me because I wasn't going.

    Always do what makes you happy and not what society tells you you should be doing, there was a point during my third year I thought I wanted to quit but I felt like I couldn't because I'd let my parents down but they always said there's no point carrying on with something if you're not happy with it. I carried on but it was nice to know I always had their support. I'm glad you're doing what's right for you and you're happy :) x

    Megan | http://www.meganjean.co.uk

  4. First of all, sending you massive hugs & lots of love, sweetie <3 It's not easy to go through what you had to go through, but hey - you're happy with your decision, and that's what matters. I remember applying for a job AND getting it (yay) but it was in the middle of nowhere and I didn't drive. The bus went to this bus stop down the main road and then there was a loooooong one-way road in the middle of the fields (not kidding) to this renovated farm space which the business occupied. I mean, I don't mind walking but there would be no way I would have to walk that after work when it's pitch black! I asked the company if there's any way they could help me out, especially down that one-way road through all these fields. They said: "Nope, take it or leave it". I knew right there and then that it wasn't the business I wanted to invest my energy and drive into.
    At the end of the day, unrelated to the example I just described, you are not defined by your education, your job, your following, your status, etc. etc. etc. Society always tries to "label" people. We tend to "label" each other. Just because someone is a doctor doesn't make them a lovely person. Or because a blogger has 1m followers doesn't mean they live a happy-go-lucky life.
    I basically wrote a post below your post, hon.
    To sum, being YOU is what makes you YOU. No "labels". No "obligations". No "society rules" <3 <3 <3
    xox Nadia

  5. I so completely agree with you! Going to college was actually one of the worst decisions both me AND my boyfriend have made because neither of us got anywhere with the courses we took and now have huge student loans to pay back and a lot of financial stress. Taking some time out is hugely beneficial and if you feel like you're ready to go back at a later date- awesome! If not- that's awesome too :) Do what makes you happy!

    Renee | Life After Lux

  6. I completely agree with you. There was so much pressure in sixth form to apply for uni and it just wasn't in my interest. I looked at courses just because my teachers were telling me to.

    I went down the apprenticeship route and it seems to have worked for me but there's no rush to do anything. I left sixth form, worked in retail for two years before starting my apprenticeship. I've been with the same company for three years but that doesn't mean I'm going to stay here, things change constantly.

    Also, my Mum went to Uni in her early 30's to study nursing. She had to go back to college in order to get into university but now she's a fully qualified nurse. You can go at ANY STAGE in your life and if you don't want to go, you don't have to!xx

  7. I feel you so much on this! I left uni and I'm so glad I did when I realised it wasn't for me. I totally think it's ok to kinda go on with your life and just keep going, even if you don't have a 'plan' - it usually fits into place when the time is right!

    Robyn x

  8. Totally agree with doing what's right for yourself and not others around you. I quit my 3rd year of college because 1) my heart wasn't in it and 2) my new tutor was basically bullying me about my weight (even though I was feeling super happy because I'd lost 2 stone over the summer) so I upped and left. Then I was unemployed for a spell which I'll admit wasn't nice. But it was my decision and I felt happier knowing I wasn't going to be stuck on a course I wasn't happy doing. Since then, I've worked in 2 jobs, both totally different and now I've gotten use to earning money. So right now, I've currently got no plans to go back to college/uni (yet). At the moment I'm not working but that's because I wasn't happy in my last job about numerous things and it was getting me down and I wasn't in a good place. So I saved some money and left the job and still currently looking for a new job. But I'm feeling loads better mentally and my anxiety isn't as bad as it was and that's what matters most.

    So good for you for doing what you feel was right for yourself! x

    (Sorry for the huge comment lol)


  9. What were you doing at Uni lovely? Honestly do not feel bad for one second. I did EXACTLY the same, even quit the same time of year. I did uni for 18 months, (Geography) and I am SO thankful I dropped out, I actually wish I hadn't even gone now, there is so much pressure to go to uni that I think needs to stop, I am actually wanting to go back now, but it has taken me to 26 to come to that decision on what I want to do - I'm sure the same will happen for you :)

    Erin || MakeErinOver

  10. So glad you posted this, I try to make sure I only do things I really love these days - because I just don't see the point in forcing myself to do things if they don't make me happy.


  11. Personally I think it's a lot braver to stand up and it's "this isn't right for me" than solider on to the bitter end for the sake of it! x
    Holly ∣ Closingwinter

  12. I'm completely with you here; I went to university in 2010 (because I thought I had to) for a year and a half before dropping out because it just wasn't right for me at that time. Three and a half years later, I went back and I'm almost at the end of my third year. This time around, I love it because it's right for me right now.

    It takes a lot of courage to stand up and say something isn't right for you, and I was so worried about what my family would think, but they were so supportive and pushed me to make the choice that was right for me.

  13. I completely agree with you, you can't live life just going along with what's expected from others! I was in a similar position with a postgrad course but ended up finishing the year, despite struggling and knowing it wasn't for me. I really wish I had backed out like you did and pursued something I was more happy with. Your photos are so incredible, by the way, and I loveeeee your blog header - so cute! xx

  14. I salute you for doing what you want to do in this situation Kat, it may have been hard but if you're not happy then why should you do it because you think it will please others around you? People around you should be pleased because you're doing what makes you happy.

    I have never been to university, purely because I was unsure on what I wanted to do at the time everyone else was going and to be quiet honest with you I still don't know what I want to do now - and that's what is getting me down at the moment. But one day it will just click and I'm starting to realise that it's okay. I'm not in the worst situation, I have a job I enjoy, it may not be my forever job. But I'm only 21! I have years ahead of me yet.

    Anyway, before you end up getting my life story. I'll stop. This is a great post. I love it!

    Kayla xo

  15. I admire anyone who figures out uni isn't for them and does something about it, instead of just going along with and then feeling slightly regretful afterwards. I always wish I changed my course in 2nd year now because my aspirations are far different than what they were. I think you'd love reading Big Magic because there's a part when she writes about university and your career and it echoes so much of what you were saying!

    Personally, I'm just proud you did what was right for YOU and nobody else!


  16. This was so good to read! You so deserve a big high-five and an even bigger hug! I think it´s brave and empowering that you chose to take your own path instead of the one society may wanted you to! Personally, I really enjoy university but I can totally see why it´s not for everyone. And even though I love what I´m doing right now I sometimes feel like I don´t control my own life. So reading this made me feel so good because even though I am following the path society wants to take me I love every bit of it and therefore I´ve concluded that it was the right decision & I´m not just blindly following someone else´s plan! So a big thank you for that!
    xx Lisa | Following Lisa

  17. I really admire your honesty and bravery for posting this. It takes a lot to realise that something isnt right for you. Whatever you do now I hope it brings you happiness xx


  18. Always important to do whats best for you no matter what! I never went to uni early cause I knew it wasn't for me just then. I went when I felt it was right and I was excited by it and I'm so glad I did. Uni isn't the be all end all! Glad you're happier xxx

    Tamz | http://www.throughneweyesx.com


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