Tuesday, 11 July 2017

I Nearly Quit Blogging (not clickbait, promise)


I'm not sure how to start this post, or how to write at all in fact. But here goes...

It's been almost two months since I even looked at my blog. I could lie and pretend that I got seriously addicted to Love Island (even though I did) which resulted in me forgetting to keep you all updated with my favourite lipstick of the moment, or what snacks I was feeling. Unfortunately no, I wish that was the case. It goes much deeper than that.

On the 22nd of May, 2017, a tragic event struck my city. We all know what I'm talking about, we all know the mass upset and devastation it brought to not only Manchester, but the entire country. And it's since that day, I lost all motivation and willpower to write.

You're probably sat thinking, "Why? You weren't there, why are you affected?". I'm not going to go into the ins and outs of how my brain processes tragedies like these because honestly, I don't even understand myself. Imagine flying out to Turkey hours after one of their major airports was bombed - Scary, right? You move on from it and enjoy your holiday, like I did last June. Now imagine a terrorist attack being carried out at a venue you were supposed to attend four days later. It's mind-numbing, it's terrifying and it's real life.

Everything feels numb. That's the only way to describe it. My 22nd birthday was two days after the attack, and I spent the whole week feeling guilty. Those poor children, parents and relatives. It hurts to even think about it.

In my mind the weeks following, my train of thought was something along the lines of, who gives a crap about Jo Malone candles? And that my friends, is why I nearly quit blogging.


Silly things were getting on top of me. The things people were complaining about, arguing about, causing drama about. I. Didn't. Care. In my mind, I'd fully given up. Could it have been a sign of grief? Maybe. But what did I have to grieve about? My city being targeted? Possibly, but I felt guilty for even doing that as I hadn't specifically lost someone.

When talking to my wonderful lil' boo thang, Katie, I discovered I wasn't the only one feeling like this, both being Manc gals and all that. It eased the pain and I felt, to put it bluntly, less stupid.
So I did what I do best when I'm in a thoughtful mood, I brainstormed. All the blog content came flowing. I suddenly had motivation for Instagram, despite how underwhelming that pain in the arse is being ATM. 

My blog is my happy place, I'm proud of how far it's come and the fact that I'm now earning money from it. Why should I give this up? 

I'm over the numbers, the jealousy and the comparisons. I'm back to blogging purely for me, I feel my happy and cheerful self again. I really am back.

Now, brb whilst I go and tackle my huge pile of emails, schedule some tweets & write some positive blog content as I pray tonight is the night Jonny is booted off Love Island. P.S. Please punch me in the face if I take a break from my blog ever again (Holidays not included).


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14 comments

  1. Your prayers were answered #byebyejonny! On a more serious note, I'm glad you've decided to stick with your blog and come back. It's necessary to take breaks now and then, especially when real life and tragedy hits close to home. Sending you all of my love and can't wait to read your possts - remember, do it for YOU! x

    Rachel | kyvbey.blogspot.com

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  2. You are amazing, and this post comes to show that you are human with real feelings and that is okay. I am glad you are sticking to your passion because you are so good at it! :)


    Nikki
    herdaringthoughts.blogspot.com

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  3. It is times like that where blogging does seem unimportant but I'm glad to see you're back at it again and you feel happier xx

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  4. Sometimes you just need to step away, and that's okay! Tragedies like this do make you put things in perspective.

    I'm glad you're feeling more up to blogging now though. For me, blogging is a good distraction! Xx

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  5. Sometimes you just need to step away, and that's okay! Tragedies like this do make you put things in perspective.

    I'm glad you're feeling more up to blogging now though. For me, blogging is a good distraction! Xx

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  6. It's completely understandable, sweetie. Everyone was struck by the tragedy and it is still almost impossible to believe what happened. Especially for something like that to happen at HOME... It would definitely put Jo Malone candles out of the way for a very long time. Because that's not what matters. To be honest, hon, this is why I haven't blogged properly in the past few months. I mean, I wrote one post in June. ONE! Life happens, stress overtakes and you find yourself praying not for regular "mundane" every day things but for life to continue... That's what I was personally hit with. And that's when all those tweets about a new ASOS haul, awful concealer or "she did, she said" mean absolute zero. Because {real} life matters so much more. If you know what I mean...
    Blogging is incredible though, isn't it? It helps to heal. It makes us happy. Not the numbers, comparisons, drama (no, definitely nothing of that sort), not even being "successful" through it because ups and downs will quickly remind us that success is a fleeting myth. What's not a myth is passion and love for blogging. The actual process of being creative and sharing content with others.
    I am very happy you're feeling happy, sweet <3
    xox Nadia
    www.mielandmint.com

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  7. I'm so glad you decided to come back blogging after a break! I totally understand what you mean, I'm a Manchester girl as well and felt a similar way to you after the attack even though like you, I hadn't lost anyone. Cass xxx
    www.heyitscassxo.blogspot.co.uk

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  8. I'm glad you decided to come back! I understand where you're coming from and you don't need to explain why you felt that way, as everyone processes and deals with things differently!xx

    Hannah | luxuryblush

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  9. Sometimes you just need to step away, and that's okay! Tragedies like this do make you put things in perspective.

    I'm glad you're feeling more up to blogging now though. For me, blogging is a good distraction! Xx

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  10. Sometimes you just need to step away, and that's okay! Tragedies like this do make you put things in perspective.

    I'm glad you're feeling more up to blogging now though. For me, blogging is a good distraction! Xx

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  11. So glad to see you didn't give up! As awful and upsetting as these events are, we need to try and not let them affect us in our daily lives. If we did, I wouldn't leave my house from fear. I try not to think too much about these things, because I dread to think where my mind would take me. But I can totally see where you was coming from. All the same.. they will not win!!
    Love Hannah x || HannahHawes

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  12. It was a devastating event which took place in Manchester, even being up in Scotland I still felt heavy hearted by what happened, so I can completely understand why you would feel affected deeply. But, I am so happy that you're back blogging - I've missed you! xx

    Jasmine || http://www.blogsallbeautyy.blogspot.co.uk

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  13. Extremely happy you didn't quit blogging! You were one of the first bloggers I talked to, this was the first blog I read before I decided I wanted to blog myself, and you are so talented it's unreal! I hope after everything you are feeling more like yourself. As always I'm here to talk if needed :) xx

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